I can relate to this on a pretty deep level, as for me erotica in fandom (whether it's art or fic) is always about the emotion between the characters rather than any kind of titillation. Which weirdly I seem to feel isn't in line with what a lot of fandom seeks as a whole.
By that I mean - those seeking emotional catharsis tend to lean toward fluff, whereas those seeking out smut are often interested in the sexuality rather than the connection between the characters(both are entirely valid, I'm not here to say otherwise). Obviously I say this from a very biased position and my observations may be super off-base, but it's an interesting place to be when you're noodling around in these fandom spaces. I'm always trying to toe this line between making art people want to see — because I'll freely admit I want people to see/read it — and stuff that's so self indulgent and only fulfils my need for the aforementioned catharsis that there's an audience of three.
This has changed a lot over the years! The older I get the less inclined I am toward fanservice and/or fanworks that would more veer into the pr0n area, and I think part of that comes from my general discomfort with thirst? IDK.
TL:DR relatable.