agreed. as a man of trans experience I can also say that I think something a lot of those thinkpieces are missing is that women do it too. it's not the same, and when it gets attention it's often discussed in misogynistic terms ("catfights" etc.), but it's definitely something I saw happen to female friends and, to an extent, before I was out, happened to me. both "types" of engaged cruelty are often targeted, in my experience, to people who don't quite fit in -- me as an undiagnosed autistic not knowing he wasn't a girl, my cis male friend who was quiet and shy and thoroughly unathletic -- but it's very different from the disconnect and erasure from online harassment.