resolutions: become even MORE of a hermit

[kradeelav]

aka every time i make the mistake of scrolling down somebody's twitter i get the urge to hardcore troll somebody lmao

anyway! seriously tho, resolution time :D  every year about this time I review my previous year's resolutions, how well I stuck to them, and adjust the course with new ones. I dunno when this started, but tumblr (and then dreamwidth) kept me reasonably accountable in a good way, so I'm happy to continue this tradition.

Last year's resolutions: 

• ☑ senior level promotion. Deliberate shifts towards earned authority.
  
  • kinda  ... went above and beyond that with accidentally getting promoted to that, then manager, lol. Learning a lot with my minion, so I think I'll be happy with work for the next year barring anything dramatic.
• ☑ close up/clean up existing projects, get in the mindset of being a true art director.
  • Things shifted in a weird way since August specifically, and been in an odd Capricorn "finish all the obligations" mode since then, so yes to the first part. gonna keep working on that second bit with the next wave of (kradeelav)-handle projects.
• ☑ make KTSamois into a ramen-profitability handle with T in the next 3-5 years.
  • Released B1, about to release B2 and an omnibus of short stories, and did about as well as expected for the first year. Need to clean up the process itself but doing fine here.
• ☒ continue to explore Leather as a calling.
  
  • Iiiiii didn't really do a lot of nsfw drawing or anything tangential there. :v  If I had to flop on one resolution, this isn't a particularly urgent one to worry about, so I'm okay with it.
• ☑ continue to be aggressive about self sustainment; keep offline connections, keep staying offline, well-read, well learnt, well organized. 
  
  • Moving to ubuntu, moving goodreads list to openlibrary (and continuing the reading challenge), being better about staying connected with IRL friends in the latter half of this year... not perfect, but I think I'm doing better here.
• [?] And by god, have fun with it.

I dunno if I'd call this whole year good, but the mental health's remarkably tight for [gestures at everything]. Had fun with some things, survived the worst ...This last month has also been a strange period of self reflection - not that it's an existential crisis, but as I've mentioned to some of y'all, been doing this, mmm, unorthodox art therapy? and uncovering a few lingering issues, neurosis, 'what the hell do I create for?" larger questions. I still don't know the answer to that

But I did find myself working upwards. That mental warship ain't there yet, but it's taking shape.

This year's resolutions: 

• IRL: Move out! Had an apartment before covid hit, I'm ready to go back to that. I need my warship space again with a studio room, if I'm going to keep working remotely.
• IRL : Redo the dayjob portfolio/resume to have it on standby with the new title. Be ready to jump on new career opportunities if they fit.
• IRL: [undisclosed personal resolution]
• be kind to yourself; it's okay to feel things again
• (both) continue to be aggressive about self sustainment. keep offline connections, keep staying offline, well-read, well learnt, well organized
• art/leather: Be more genuinely shameless, fearless about anything you touch - make room for and tap into your villainspace self as an alter ego. Hunt down that long-term spark/goal. sakuga for villainspace - you know it when you see it.
• art: keep that capricorn project manager energy going. Keep saying "no" to favors unless if you really, really want to do the thing. Restructure the (kradeelav)-handle projects list so you're learning cool things at the same time you're doing projects that you'll be proud of for a long, long while after, so you don't get bored in the short term and long term - but not being afraid to keep it flexible so you can pivot quickly. get into a good rhythm of finishing stuff without them feeling burdens.

Some per-month creative projects and ideas to pick and choose from the pile: 

• finishing the coming-of-age hellsing bootfucking "fealty" zine (so closeee) 
• getting that 'banned creatives webring' up online and working
• finishing that one taboo/fetish collab comm'd zine
• finishing the 'how i built my site' postmortem
• villainspace manifesto
• playing around with live2D (3D character animation that moves) in ur style
• finishing What Greater Sin (R18 skanky hellsing erotic doujin)
• project that flexes on 'scene-setting' muscle, being able to draw dreamscapes.
• shorter 4 page zine ideas like 'why gunplay' lol - truly messy zines that don't have to be polished or particularly poised.
• 3D printing and printing designer toys (if moved out and have a studio space)
• zihark doujin! :D and like, printing a whole ass book there
• twine game / site parallax animation coding + illustration fuckery?
• making an autobio zine that I don't automatically cringe at lol, medical trauma stuff?
• getting better at the whole ebook formatting + production pipeline with atticus ~

Comments

[mizerable]

Good luck with all of your resolutions! I believe in you +v+