(no subject)

[kradeelav]

i honestly think most of the reason why i like drawing is i'm not particularly keen on the act of like. existing, in terms of the fleshy meatbag quality as a baseline.

and like sex, when you're in the flow zone with drawing, your meat cage just kinda... falls off the bone like a short rib and the seretonin's pretty great right. strictly speaking your conception of reality feels fucking great.

also like sex you're in the act of creating -- whether it be a memory of the act (a particularly good wip you learned something from) or a literal physical something that lives on.

i wonder if sixteenth century monks ever felt like this too

/thought

Comments

[ellerean]

This says a lot about creators in general, and I feel this hard right now. Existing is... what it is, but when I'm writing something good? Ooh boy, let's go. I always come back to the good scenes and they make me feel more alive.

[kradeelav]

isn't that flow state amazing? I can see why the ancients would ascribe divinity and muse like qualities to that state of creating ... here's to more of that feeling for both of us this year. <3

[airlock384]

hmmmmm... to launch off into massive philosophical ramble or not to launch-

like, some of my studies back when I was doing psych at uni have really made me rethink the conceptualization of the body, and I think about it a lot in relation to queerness. I especially notice the way nonbinary folks strongly tend to have this deeply estranged relationship with the body, this, well, lack of keenness on the act of existing in terms of the fleshy meatbag quality, as it were. it gives me a lot to think about, for sure

anyway, this post definitely adds a dimension for me to consider when I'm thinking about that stuff!

[kradeelav]

you know, that's a great point there what with the nonbinary bit and the queerness label when applied to nuanced parts of existing like this -- bodies aren't a static thing, by any means.

(I've thought about that label at times, about four years ago, given my long-standing joke of 'forget genders, straight up don't feel human most times lol.' not in a self loathing way, just more 'with all these machines in my body i feel more genuine kinship with machines than anything. ultimately though, the idea of the label didn't do anything for me, though i do hope it resonates with other folks.)