(no subject)

[kradeelav]

cracked 80 minutes today drawing with no repercussions, even with rain.

exactly 10 minutes every time separated by an hour, no exceptions. (annoying? oh yes. but infinitively much better than not drawing. all i have to do is make that hour in between pass. an hour is so much easier to blink away than an entire day of nothing; simple rearranging of chores, meals, bathroom breaks. it's also having a pleasant side effect of making me much more efficient at rendering. i can do things faster in 20 minutes than i used to in two hours.)

i feel like i'm drinking in the world again.

tasting the world through drawing. this last ten minutes before bedtime was nothing but the sheer delight of simply drawing the curvature of pillows and sheets on a bed. i'm honestly strangely thankful for the eye/hand issues the last two years because i will never ever take the simple pleasure of drawing for granted again, even if only for ten minutes.

it's... meditative. it's worshiping all the little imperfections of the world.

(krad you are drawing gilf hentai). ...and....?  i don't want to demean the delicious crude lust of it, but that too, has so many wonderful little imperfections. the tug and pull of muscles under skin, how that texture is different than silky sheets... i could go on. i feel like you can tell when an artist appreciates the worlds they're rendering versus when it's a chore, and... i feel that difference.

there's so much i can survive as long as i have my muse and can draw.

Comments

[airlock384]

I'm happy you found a way to get back to creating without wrecking yourself! (provided it does in fact not wreck you, anyway. don't be secretly wrecking yourself out there)

anyway, hell yeah to appreciating the creation of just whatever. I imagine that being confined to the Reverse Pomodoro Method gives you insight on that on a level beyond me, but often at times when I'm writing, I find that one of the Evil First Draft Thoughts that I have to beat back is "why put effort into this thing, when it's not the most grandiose and important thing in the world to write". and each time I ignore that sentiment and write anyway, I get something written out of it, which I wouldn't have had otherwise

(plus, a deep appreciation of detail makes for much better erotica, anyway! it's about the journey, not the destination -- at least, that's why nobody gets off to anatomy guides)

[kradeelav]

(if you saw a deleted comment, my bad, I totally brain glitched and responded to a different comment entirely here XD)

hahaha oh my gosh i love how you described 'reverse pomodoro' - that's exactly what it is. went a little too nuts with the wrist last weekend but it really does seem that hour long breaks are essential at the moment.

resisting that urge to not create is definitely the best thing you could do on your side, and I'm so glad you recognize that and have learned to work around it. you'd think our brains wouldn't feel the need to sabatoge ourselves when it's for fun but alas!

(hear hear to the last bit too!)

[flowersforgraves]

\o/

glad to hear you're doing better!

[kradeelav]

thank youuu~`