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kradeelavI'm cleaning up my giant media tracking spreadsheet (to-read and play list, imported goodreads list, etc) simply because it'd be cool to make charts of whether it was a games-heavy year or anime-heavy year, what decade-is-the-thing-published do i tend to prefer, fun statistics like that.
and i FOUND MY MOST HATED BOOK/PIECE OF MEDIA EVER
WINGS.
i gave this book a lower rating than fucking mein kampf!!!! (mind that book is atrociously boring as it is atrociously hideously Ethically Bad from cover to cover; the only single point in its favor is from a historical context of looking inside to see how hitler's mind works to stop bitches like him blah blah you all get it, honestly i think it's a little hilarious how many edgelords 100% got bored to tears reading it lmao. theory of racism is a snoozefest 101 is arguably a good lesson for everyone to learn-)
but okay a little context. some family friend ages ago back near 2000 when i was a kid/young teen gave me this young adult book; and to be fair to them the cover admittedly looks like the kind of thing you'd give to a young fantasy obsessed girl with this kid with wings on there.....
as expected, the plot is this otherwise completely normal boy in a suburbia US family situation who suddenly grows (bat/dragon-ish) wings out of the blue. kinda freaked out, he goes on the run (i think he might have gotten the police called on him?)... there's a generic kid-on-the-lam-learns-survival-101 subplot in the middle third that was weirdly popular in late 1990's books (remember boxcar children?).
and then once when the 'oh shit i can fly' novelty wears off he kinda starts getting... depressed? which, okay cool, at least this book was trying to hit the realism there as well as the 'actually learning how to fly is hard as fuck and he skins his knees more than a few times falling when failing to read air currents'. if the book had stayed there where he found an uneasy peace of finding a few friendly weirdos or adjusted to the new norm it would have honestly been a decent read.
IF THE BOOK HAD STAYED THERE.
but imagine to like, an indoor-bound chick on a walker reading this who was already obsessed with starfighters and fighter jets and flying things as a sense of freedom projecting hard on this bloke....
....and then the plot turns a hard abrupt dark corner with this boy getting Even More Depressed about being a Freak (this book was really really heavy handed on the 'boy sees himself as a freak' thing) and then coerced/guilted by his parents and police to come back to them after talking about it a few times and partially against his will with a word for word mention of "it's better for you" they trap him and surgically removes his wings.
which was honestly a little textbook triggering back then for me in hindsight, also, y'know, being right in the middle of surgeries and the whole specific lack-of-autonomy-thing of being dragged in the OR repeatedly being the biggest bit -
and the book ends there. bam, done, no mas.
reading that climax and thinking ???????????? excuse u. w-what.....are.....you trying to say here mate?
i legitimately think this is the book that radicalized my surprisingly rock-solid early self esteem out of pure condensed.... nuclear levels of spite-hatred.... of rejecting what this book was Saying.
YOU HAD THEM CHOP OFF YOUR MOTHER FUCKING WINGS????? VOLUNTARILY?????
BITCH I WOULD BE FIGHTING TOOTH AND BLOODY DEAD HANDS AROUND A GUN AGAINST THE WHOLE WORLD IN A WAR. OVER MY AND EVERYONE'S DEAD FUCKING BODY. i love my family very much but not even for them would i do that!! fuck OFF
like i get self hatred, we all get that to varying degrees, and honestly i probably was in a position to understand the poor bloke better than 95% of people, and i get not really liking the thing that Separates you from the rest of humanity, quite intimately - BUT YOU HAD THAT LITERAL FUCKING FREEDOM IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND AND WENT BACK LIKE A WHIPPED DOG ON A LEASH WITH NO SELF RESPECT TO SAY FUCK YOU??? ASSIMILATE OR WORSE-THAN-DIE? AND DIDN'T GO ON A RAMPAGE AFTERWARDS?
and the author. what the fuck. what the fuck are you trying to say to kids??? freaky ones of you should be surgically dissected until no longer freaky?? i've tried steelmanning the book from the author's POV a few times at least in the sense of 'oh shit i totally did not intend this to be the messaging, i meant x y z instead' with good faith and i just...
i ain't seeing it brah. what might have been cool is continuing it by a third and showing how the kid regrets having the wings chop-chop'd off and showing the uneven quality of life. still pretty depressing/kinda wiggy for reasons but at least there's actual nuance in showing both 'i do and don't want them' wheras just ENDING it on the taking feels like it's saying that's the moral high road and what "should" be (and the parents/society coercing the kid into it). i think that's what bothered me the most.
it also makes me wonder whether the author was writing this from a normie and emotionally dense perspective (who wouldn't understand) or wrestling with similar feelings and just had negative self esteem and who actually would have been coerced back? who hurt you mate dot jpg.
the funniest thing is my parents were actually really really good about - i guess quietly shielding me, is the best word? - in general from the "disabled kids are freaks' sort of messaging that a depressingly large chunk of media had back in the 90's and earlier; like they're not tumblr progressive by ANY sense lul (and they were a lil' censorship happy for my tastes), but they got that part, so just the sheer... balls of this book to say the ugly part out loud compared to pretty good media had me so surprised by the audacity that i didn't internalize it personally thank god XD (think i also never had respect for this family friend afterwards too lol)
swear to god this is the fucking bitch ass book i would still (be tempted to) launch myself over a convention barrier and trash talk the author until i was dragged out by security myself, LIKE WHO WRITES THAT. MUCH LESS GIVES THAT TO A DISABLED KID?????? lmao.
anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk on contender for single worst amazingly genuinely hilariously tone deaf book of all time. :D
and i FOUND MY MOST HATED BOOK/PIECE OF MEDIA EVER
WINGS.
i gave this book a lower rating than fucking mein kampf!!!! (mind that book is atrociously boring as it is atrociously hideously Ethically Bad from cover to cover; the only single point in its favor is from a historical context of looking inside to see how hitler's mind works to stop bitches like him blah blah you all get it, honestly i think it's a little hilarious how many edgelords 100% got bored to tears reading it lmao. theory of racism is a snoozefest 101 is arguably a good lesson for everyone to learn-)
but okay a little context. some family friend ages ago back near 2000 when i was a kid/young teen gave me this young adult book; and to be fair to them the cover admittedly looks like the kind of thing you'd give to a young fantasy obsessed girl with this kid with wings on there.....
as expected, the plot is this otherwise completely normal boy in a suburbia US family situation who suddenly grows (bat/dragon-ish) wings out of the blue. kinda freaked out, he goes on the run (i think he might have gotten the police called on him?)... there's a generic kid-on-the-lam-learns-survival-101 subplot in the middle third that was weirdly popular in late 1990's books (remember boxcar children?).
and then once when the 'oh shit i can fly' novelty wears off he kinda starts getting... depressed? which, okay cool, at least this book was trying to hit the realism there as well as the 'actually learning how to fly is hard as fuck and he skins his knees more than a few times falling when failing to read air currents'. if the book had stayed there where he found an uneasy peace of finding a few friendly weirdos or adjusted to the new norm it would have honestly been a decent read.
IF THE BOOK HAD STAYED THERE.
but imagine to like, an indoor-bound chick on a walker reading this who was already obsessed with starfighters and fighter jets and flying things as a sense of freedom projecting hard on this bloke....
....and then the plot turns a hard abrupt dark corner with this boy getting Even More Depressed about being a Freak (this book was really really heavy handed on the 'boy sees himself as a freak' thing) and then coerced/guilted by his parents and police to come back to them after talking about it a few times and partially against his will with a word for word mention of "it's better for you" they trap him and surgically removes his wings.
which was honestly a little textbook triggering back then for me in hindsight, also, y'know, being right in the middle of surgeries and the whole specific lack-of-autonomy-thing of being dragged in the OR repeatedly being the biggest bit -
and the book ends there. bam, done, no mas.
reading that climax and thinking ???????????? excuse u. w-what.....are.....you trying to say here mate?
i legitimately think this is the book that radicalized my surprisingly rock-solid early self esteem out of pure condensed.... nuclear levels of spite-hatred.... of rejecting what this book was Saying.
YOU HAD THEM CHOP OFF YOUR MOTHER FUCKING WINGS????? VOLUNTARILY?????
BITCH I WOULD BE FIGHTING TOOTH AND BLOODY DEAD HANDS AROUND A GUN AGAINST THE WHOLE WORLD IN A WAR. OVER MY AND EVERYONE'S DEAD FUCKING BODY. i love my family very much but not even for them would i do that!! fuck OFF
like i get self hatred, we all get that to varying degrees, and honestly i probably was in a position to understand the poor bloke better than 95% of people, and i get not really liking the thing that Separates you from the rest of humanity, quite intimately - BUT YOU HAD THAT LITERAL FUCKING FREEDOM IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND AND WENT BACK LIKE A WHIPPED DOG ON A LEASH WITH NO SELF RESPECT TO SAY FUCK YOU??? ASSIMILATE OR WORSE-THAN-DIE? AND DIDN'T GO ON A RAMPAGE AFTERWARDS?
and the author. what the fuck. what the fuck are you trying to say to kids??? freaky ones of you should be surgically dissected until no longer freaky?? i've tried steelmanning the book from the author's POV a few times at least in the sense of 'oh shit i totally did not intend this to be the messaging, i meant x y z instead' with good faith and i just...
i ain't seeing it brah. what might have been cool is continuing it by a third and showing how the kid regrets having the wings chop-chop'd off and showing the uneven quality of life. still pretty depressing/kinda wiggy for reasons but at least there's actual nuance in showing both 'i do and don't want them' wheras just ENDING it on the taking feels like it's saying that's the moral high road and what "should" be (and the parents/society coercing the kid into it). i think that's what bothered me the most.
it also makes me wonder whether the author was writing this from a normie and emotionally dense perspective (who wouldn't understand) or wrestling with similar feelings and just had negative self esteem and who actually would have been coerced back? who hurt you mate dot jpg.
the funniest thing is my parents were actually really really good about - i guess quietly shielding me, is the best word? - in general from the "disabled kids are freaks' sort of messaging that a depressingly large chunk of media had back in the 90's and earlier; like they're not tumblr progressive by ANY sense lul (and they were a lil' censorship happy for my tastes), but they got that part, so just the sheer... balls of this book to say the ugly part out loud compared to pretty good media had me so surprised by the audacity that i didn't internalize it personally thank god XD (think i also never had respect for this family friend afterwards too lol)
swear to god this is the fucking bitch ass book i would still (be tempted to) launch myself over a convention barrier and trash talk the author until i was dragged out by security myself, LIKE WHO WRITES THAT. MUCH LESS GIVES THAT TO A DISABLED KID?????? lmao.
anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk on contender for single worst amazingly genuinely hilariously tone deaf book of all time. :D
(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-17 04:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-17 07:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-17 09:03 pm (UTC)i love seeing your righteous indignation RADIATING OFF THE SCREEN lol. that sounds like... what... what a choice... to end it in that spot... of all spots... on multiple levels lmao...
(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-17 09:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-23 03:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-23 07:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-29 02:37 am (UTC)I was just speaking with a friend the other day about why I'm anti-genAI, and I think you'd agree with the principle underpinning it:
Anyway, I'm trying to think of any books I hated with a passion as much as you hated Wings, but nothing comes to mind (maybe because I usually DNF crap for wasting my time). About the worst I can think of is... pop psychology that makes me wince as a mental health professional in training? Specifically one who is a little more radical and anti-psych despite my vocation of choice lolol. I'll have to think about it some more.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-29 06:37 pm (UTC)and LOL pop-psychology... gosh i feel you. i think wings just happened to hit me at the right time (old enough to go 'wtf', young enough to see that kind of thinking for the first time) wheras pop-psychology is unfortuantly soooo endemic.