(no subject)
Feb. 3rd, 2026 03:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kradeelavstill mulling over on this line of thought for a while, and there are parts of this i won't share, but doing this zihark doujin At This Particular Time as an extension of me creating art for the Muse as an act of worship - strikes me as quietly... necessary? urgent? to be mindful of as a north star?
thoughtline influenced by:
++ what i previously mentioned about Creating && avoiding "metrics existentialism" ages ago
+ rahaeli mentioning religion studies doing far more for T+S/moderation work than anyone thought. (likely: faith, rituals, how people craft those, instinctively or deliberately....)
+ this post about general insecurities of the new guard of selfshippers (i say 'new guard' because how all of that is worded is completely new to me even though i do recognize some of the adjacent feelings in my 20 years, even though they're not a concern to me anymore * )
+ general social media posts by art peers clearly hinting at existential angst about art not getting the views/clicks online that it used to even a few months ago (even on algorithim-less sites).
+ when a doujin circle member mentioned long ago that the people least likely to be affected by LLM existentialist fear are the ones with an internal calling for their 'outsider' art, however form that may take. (isolated selfshipping, furries and comickers creating elaborate worldbuilding for themselves offline, etc. )
mostly highlighting the 'act of worship' part since as absolutely corny as that sounds on its face, it's a protective veil in terms of ... process? that negates so much of the negative externalities of the above. - hell, maybe one of many reasons why religion/spirituality is so powerful, since it has a habit of getting in between social power structures of the day and individuals, when they choose to believe in something on a smaller scale.
( *it would have been a little mean to me to respond to that post about my personal advice of thinking of it as an active act. creating something, whether art, writing, a fanshrine, etc - as a pilgrimage of sorts. evidence for you and the fates. spirituality has a way of coming in the edges around that, when you give it a home. )
and just... it's funny.
i would be surprised at the coincidence of somehow ending up drawing this doujin precisely when existential anxiety around art was at its highest, but... there's so many of these little "coincidences" around this Muse that have happened over the decades .... nudges, if you will. where it just fell into place that clearly I was meant to do X thing at Y time that's so blindingly obvious in retrospect.
i just don't question it, not anymore.
man, i am so relieved i'm working on this. for so, so many reasons. feels like coming home.
thoughtline influenced by:
++ what i previously mentioned about Creating && avoiding "metrics existentialism" ages ago
+ rahaeli mentioning religion studies doing far more for T+S/moderation work than anyone thought. (likely: faith, rituals, how people craft those, instinctively or deliberately....)
+ this post about general insecurities of the new guard of selfshippers (i say 'new guard' because how all of that is worded is completely new to me even though i do recognize some of the adjacent feelings in my 20 years, even though they're not a concern to me anymore * )
+ general social media posts by art peers clearly hinting at existential angst about art not getting the views/clicks online that it used to even a few months ago (even on algorithim-less sites).
+ when a doujin circle member mentioned long ago that the people least likely to be affected by LLM existentialist fear are the ones with an internal calling for their 'outsider' art, however form that may take. (isolated selfshipping, furries and comickers creating elaborate worldbuilding for themselves offline, etc. )
mostly highlighting the 'act of worship' part since as absolutely corny as that sounds on its face, it's a protective veil in terms of ... process? that negates so much of the negative externalities of the above. - hell, maybe one of many reasons why religion/spirituality is so powerful, since it has a habit of getting in between social power structures of the day and individuals, when they choose to believe in something on a smaller scale.
( *it would have been a little mean to me to respond to that post about my personal advice of thinking of it as an active act. creating something, whether art, writing, a fanshrine, etc - as a pilgrimage of sorts. evidence for you and the fates. spirituality has a way of coming in the edges around that, when you give it a home. )
and just... it's funny.
i would be surprised at the coincidence of somehow ending up drawing this doujin precisely when existential anxiety around art was at its highest, but... there's so many of these little "coincidences" around this Muse that have happened over the decades .... nudges, if you will. where it just fell into place that clearly I was meant to do X thing at Y time that's so blindingly obvious in retrospect.
i just don't question it, not anymore.
man, i am so relieved i'm working on this. for so, so many reasons. feels like coming home.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-04 04:24 am (UTC)funny to me, seeing you say that, and I have it in the first chapter's notes of summoner supports... man. it's the rolling year for this kind of thing, huh? a lot of crazy things happening. it's good to be home. it's really good to be home. regarding the timeliness, it's really interesting, very cool, to see those things echoed here from you. it's all very centering, anchoring, and what you said there about a faithful sort of ritualism to it... yes. YES. sickosyes.
fascinating post there too about the anxieties. some of those are new information/topics to me (the doubles thing! while I certainly understand where it could come from, never resonated. maybe it's the ho in me!), others... very familiar, though, I think I've moved past a lot of it. definitely settled into a far more comfortable place with it myself. maybe it's the 30s. just can't worry so much about a lot of those things. yeah, these are my muses. it's indisputable truth. is it odd? oh, I don't know, no more than any gods. it is an active act, the same as I'd say my prayers.
which, as an aside, I'd never known until comparatively recently (past...decade, maybe?) that this was any sort of community. it was just... well, me, that weird author who likes karel fire emblem Way Too Much, y'know?
I am straight up just like. so happy for ya to be working on something like this. it's just... aaaaa your like joy and energy for it is so contagious. it's so good.