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Oct. 9th, 2026 10:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kradeelavsomething i've really enjoyed doing in the last year or so is excessively cutting wayyyyy back on my "default" of where i scroll or what i sign up for (fandom/creative wise), or even material Stuff (aka the ongoing book purge spree). like what do I "stuff" the crevices of my bandwidth like asbestos insulation between the walls of the house
cut cut cut that
and then cut more until i actually finally get bored again. (bored enough to actually get ahead of my to do list, for once!) but essentially bored enough that i start looking around at the world again.
a lot of my current defaults were simply there out of accumulation in the past twenty years, and it's a good way of auditing, intentionally re-assessing sites, clothes, books, etc versus just reaching for the same five shirts over again. chainsawing through the general "noise" that is modern life mixed with social media. for example, i've recently found i deeply enjoy collecting tellius doujin (which in hindsight makes sense if it's a 20 year long fandom) versus just random art books that are Pretty but previous to this year; it just truly never occurred to me to even start looking for it. generally these days i need a really solid reason to do, post, or buy [x] thing.
but it's not only that - i find i actually have way more fun seeking out stuff when bored. like the above makes me actually hungry to seek out stuff again? i feel lean, in a good way. clearheaded. purposeful, at least, when i do reach out methodically for something.
it's removing the noise, i think, that does that. i know i harp on this constantly but i remember back in the early 00's it was actually rare to stumble on something that was both high quality and delightfully nerdy/outsider-creative-work. and by forcefully (maybe artificially?) reducing that noise it's creating an environment vaguely more like the days of yore where the lack of choice or carefully metered internet made you extra appreciative for something that was actually up your alley. kind of like how devs used to weigh each byte of a game.
one last comparison; this one's a weird one but we used to have two-hour long chapel sessions in the old elementary religious private schools every friday. they were.... honestly kind of boring (no gifted orators there, and bad hearing didn't help with comprehension; this was way before powerpoints or visual aids), but i remember basically training myself to be constantly occupied in the brain with even absolutely nothing to do but sit on uncomfortable metal chairs and stare. that, to me, is a gift in this vein- to be happily occupied with so little in the hands.
idk just things i'm trying to intentionally lean in the direction of, especially these days (given how it feels like the whole internet is doing the opposite...). sometimes it feels like aggressively swimming against the current but the friction itself kinda feels good, weirdly.
cut cut cut that
and then cut more until i actually finally get bored again. (bored enough to actually get ahead of my to do list, for once!) but essentially bored enough that i start looking around at the world again.
a lot of my current defaults were simply there out of accumulation in the past twenty years, and it's a good way of auditing, intentionally re-assessing sites, clothes, books, etc versus just reaching for the same five shirts over again. chainsawing through the general "noise" that is modern life mixed with social media. for example, i've recently found i deeply enjoy collecting tellius doujin (which in hindsight makes sense if it's a 20 year long fandom) versus just random art books that are Pretty but previous to this year; it just truly never occurred to me to even start looking for it. generally these days i need a really solid reason to do, post, or buy [x] thing.
but it's not only that - i find i actually have way more fun seeking out stuff when bored. like the above makes me actually hungry to seek out stuff again? i feel lean, in a good way. clearheaded. purposeful, at least, when i do reach out methodically for something.
it's removing the noise, i think, that does that. i know i harp on this constantly but i remember back in the early 00's it was actually rare to stumble on something that was both high quality and delightfully nerdy/outsider-creative-work. and by forcefully (maybe artificially?) reducing that noise it's creating an environment vaguely more like the days of yore where the lack of choice or carefully metered internet made you extra appreciative for something that was actually up your alley. kind of like how devs used to weigh each byte of a game.
one last comparison; this one's a weird one but we used to have two-hour long chapel sessions in the old elementary religious private schools every friday. they were.... honestly kind of boring (no gifted orators there, and bad hearing didn't help with comprehension; this was way before powerpoints or visual aids), but i remember basically training myself to be constantly occupied in the brain with even absolutely nothing to do but sit on uncomfortable metal chairs and stare. that, to me, is a gift in this vein- to be happily occupied with so little in the hands.
idk just things i'm trying to intentionally lean in the direction of, especially these days (given how it feels like the whole internet is doing the opposite...). sometimes it feels like aggressively swimming against the current but the friction itself kinda feels good, weirdly.
